


Dumb Ways to Date

by laudanum_and_wine



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Cooking, Dating, F/M, Foggy is an idiot, I feel like we're all Foggy here, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, but he's our idiot, dumb dating practices
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-11
Updated: 2015-11-11
Packaged: 2018-05-01 02:32:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5188814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laudanum_and_wine/pseuds/laudanum_and_wine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of very very short Foggy-perspective snippets of dating Karen and Matt. Generally Foggy is an adorable fool who no one can hold at fault for anything. Nothing graphic either sexual or violence related, just general relationship woes related anything that can go wrong going wrong, possibly including sex and violence. It's Foggy we're talking about, after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What can go wrong?

Okay, no, they weren't at the word lovers yet. Going from friends to dating, that worked. It was not weird.

It was a little weird, just a little totally weird. It was mostly Foggy's fault, though. He felt. Totally his fault. Because sure, Matt had never been in a poly relationship before either, but Foggy had never even dated a guy. He figured it was mostly his fault.

Like, the first time they all got naked? That had been bad. That was his fault. Karen was saying something, and everyone was pretty upbeat just trying to stay positive and optimistic, and there's Matt, a naked and gorgeous Greek god blinking innocently and what does Foggy hear coming out of his own mouth?

“Oh, so THAT'S what your penis looks like!"

For a minute he was almost sure it had been entirely in his head... Then Karen was falling over in the one high heel she'd managed to keep on, and Matt was literally doubled over, and Foggy could feel his eyebrows trying to rise off his own face in shame and float away from him. Traitorous furry jerks, he thought inanely, as he scrambled for something funny and charming to try to recover his dignity.  
It hadn't worked, but really blowjobs were better than dignity anyway. And so what if it was weird, Foggy was trying. And after an opening like that, what could go wrong?


	2. Redecorating on the Fly.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Foggy wants to bad to just be super-cool for once. It's not happening, dude.

Foggy had been mistaken, everything could go wrong. All the things could go wrong. They could go wrong, and get covered in hot marinara sauce. 

It had been a date night, an intentional attempt they were all making to remind themselves that while this relationship consisted of three individual relationships, it was also one big... Relationship. It was important, that was all Foggy knew, and Karen was super excited to cook for them again.

His job was the tomato sauce. Just the sauce. She was going to make the lasagna and he was simply to make a nice tasty sauce for the lasagna while she shopped. And that was fine, he could definitely make pasta sauce. It had the perfect amount of oregano, too little salt, but he thought all things considered that was the best direction to err for salt. 

Everything was fine until it went to hell, and it went to hell when he lifted the pot off the stove and turned to set it on the back counter. A click of the door distracted him to start, but suddenly there was something at his feet, did Matt get a cat, and was he about to hit the- 

“Agh!” Foggy leveled out, kept a hold on the saucepan with both hands, but right when he was starting to think it was all going to be alright the counter just jumped up an inch and, smack, threw the still-pretty-hot tomato sauce all over Foggy's face and chest. 

The awful thing about having a blood-colored liquid thrown at you is that, well, you kind of panic. Every second of the experience sped up to fast-forward and suddenly Foggy found himself sitting beside the sink in a puddle of red good, glaring menacingly at the floor. Beneath him sat a rug, a little padded matt. Beneath large red splashes it looked like a pattern of fall leaves. It was very soft on his butt. 

“Who put this here?” He glared at the squishy red fabric. “Matt could have tripped on this! This was dangerous- You can't just put new- What was this even- ” 

“I put I there, Foggy,” Matt was kneeling next to him, a grocery bad set near the counter with his cane dropped haphazardly next to it. “Karen complained that her feet hurt when she does the dishes.” 

“Oh.” Foggy stared at Matt, blinking and beginning to feel a slight chill from the fast cooling sauce all over him. “It's covered in dinner.” 

“What color was it?” 

“Red and brown leaves.” 

“Okay, well then no real change. You okay?” Matt slowly pulled Foggy up, setting the pot in the sink with his other hand. 

“Yeah, I mean. I smell delicious. I guess I can't be too upset.”

Matt laughed and kissed Foggy on the cheek, lips coming away tomato-red. “Go shower. I'll clean up.” 

Foggy tried to shuffle to the bathroom while dripping as little as possible, listening to Matt putter around the kitchen running the sink and ripping off a swath of paper towels. Foggy left the bathroom door open for steam. He was shivering a bit more earnestly as he stepped into the tub and began to undress. He wadded up his clothes in the sink, trying to minimize the limits of later clean up. 

Total and utter embarrassment was just beginning to seem averted as the water hissed and Foggy scrubbed oregano off his forearm. Matt had been so unruffled by finding him in disarray, and they could definitely make more pasta sauce. It wasn't like they didn't have more tomato paste, or even tomatoes if he threw his food across the room again. He was beginning to think he hadn't quite managed to totally shame himself. He could probably still manage to be suave at some point tonight, end date night on a charming note.

The front door clicked, and Foggy sighed, deciding to stay in the shower a bit longer. He was comic relief tonight, he could feel it.

“Oh my god! Is that blood?! Are you okay? … Is that a new rug in front of the sink..?”

“It's fine Karen, it's fine. Foggy just really didn't like his first version of the tomato sauce.” 

“What was wrong with it?” Karen's heels clicked even over the sound of the shower, and she sounded like she was smiling.

“Too much Oregano.” Matt's voice was painfully dry, and pitched intentionally loud to carry. 

“Oh no, you did NOT just- !” That was the last straw, Foggy shut off the shower, stormed into the living room with his hastily grabbed towel. “You can laugh at my sauce juggling skills, and my impromptu kitchen redecoration, but that was the perfect amount of oregano, mister!”

Karen and Matt just laughed, and Foggy really thought that laughter was sort of similar to success, so he was just going to sneak extra oregano into the sauce when no one was looking and hope they let him live this evening down at some point. Everything going wrong was sort of their strong suit after all.


End file.
